Friday morn dawns bright and clear and I go in to tell my boss that I’m resigning. Unfortunately, he comes out of his office extremely pleased with me about some critical email that I sent about R’s copy. So then I have to make him go into his office and break the news.
He gasps in shock and then goes on to say that he was considering making me editor of the mag and had just spoken about it with my senior colleague on his trip. And he gives me long senti spiel about how much he values me and will give me a big raise etc. The big raise turns out to be five grand more than new job is offering me to be a writer but I think I can get him to go up to ten.
The point is – do I want to stay here?
The rest of the day is spent agonizing. The crucial question is – do I want to leave not matter what amount he offers me? And the answer is yes. But I have to be pragmatic as well. Because how bad is my current job – and the new one could be worse. At least this is a known devil for 15,000 more.
But I know which way my heart is going which is hoping that he will not offer me more money so that I don’t have to make that choice.
In the end, I decide I will tell him that I will resign anyway and then if he does try to convince me further to stay, I will say that I need at least 15,000 more. Quaking I go in to office yesterday and break the news.
It turns out boss is surprisingly calm. He accepts my decision and says a few wise words and that he wished I had made a different decision because I am special. (Please note that I have gone in to work on a Saturday to resign but also to WORK – so I guess I am special. Or stupid. But I prefer special.)
Then I have to break the news to Sweet Office Slug. Oh it was painful. I feel like I’ve betrayed everyone. Though I’m only changing jobs.