The other day I sat on a truffle.
It all started when we were out grocery shopping and noticed this box of truffles on sale. Two for the price of one. So we bought two. And when we started eating them, they were the most exciting thing ever. They were yummy to the point of ahhhh. They melted in your mouth as you reached for the next one.
For a depressed person, they were like a lifeline.
And so one evening, I sat on the couch and poured them into my mouth and finally thought that I had finished. And here’s when it gets gross. I noticed smudges of chocolate on my thigh, which i promptly licked up.
And then I went to the loo and when I got up there was chocolate on the seat. Now, I know what you’re thinking and for a moment I thought it too. That I had unwittingly crapped my pants. But it was definitely chocolate though I couldn’t tell where it was coming from because there wasn’t anymore on the my thigh. That’s when I had a look at my behind in the mirror and discovered that my underwear was um, choc-a-bloc. It was a very weird sight, I must say.
Having divested myself of my choca-panties, I rushed into the hall and that’s when I saw a big brown smudge on the couch. And realised I had indeed sat on a truffle.