(dear single friends, please do not take offense. This is just my meditation on the curious state of affairs I seem to find myself in and rest assured I love you, but more when you’re not in slightly drunk on-the-make mode. A perfectly normal mode by the way. Argh I will stop. Just note that I mean well etc)

Whenever I got out partying with my single girlfriends, I find myself feeling a bit out of place. More than ever it has come home to me how much going out partying is a mating game.

People of both sexes primped and preened to their best advantage standing around tables doing their best to look like they’re having fun (maybe this is more evident in Lan Kwai Fong than anywhere else but all the overly stylish people in Soho also seem to be waiting for something to happen). Getting up to dance is not just a way to let your hair down but also to move your body in the most attractive way. Eagerly perking up at the first sign of attention from a stranger.

When you’re in that game it’s all heady and exciting and unconscious. But to someone outside it, it’s faintly pathetic. Increasingly, when I’m out with single people I notice their eyes roving during a conversation, checking out the prospects in the room. When someone comes over and talks to us, no matter how brain-dead the line may be, they always respond. A whole often mindless and drunken conversation ensues leaving the girl flushed with the joy of being noticed even though she will claim to be glad when the guy departs.

I’m sure I went through this too. After all I did meet my husband in a bar.

It’s just that when you’re no longer in that mode, it’s fairly tiresome to sit through the whole song and dance watching others play it out. Sort of like having lunch with your friend who’s just had a baby. I’d rather either be having a proper conversation or be home with a good book. Smiling at strangers who most often cannot even come up with a decent pick-up line out of politeness to your friend gets quite boring after a point.

Or am I just growing very very old and antisocial?

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