After all my good intentions…

1) Got up on Monday with a tight ball of fear in the stomach and realised it was because I had to go to work. Realised I cannot keep doing this. Worse, we have a edit meet on Monday which is always a disaster. Sis-in-law calls and berates me for not picking up phone on b irthday. This is very strange because a) it’s my birthday b) she was more concerned that she didn’t get to wish me c) her first reaction was ‘but anyway you don’t talk to anybody’. Anyway, it put me off and reinforced my view that you shouldn’t make calls you don’t want to when you’re not feeling like it.

2) Began feeling inordinately depressed. Interviewed two women who seemed like bitches. But I’ll have to write about them as if they’re fun. Grey cloud of depression was temporarily lifted when I spoke to V, who I had been avoided because I didn’t want to whine to him, and I realised it was probably that I was missing him. Or maybe the sound of his voice just makes me feel better.

3) Person I wrote about pointed out minor mistake in my story. Which was actually made by boss but I missed it when I read the draft. Like a fool I pointed it out to boss who snapped at me. Ended up spending half the day agonising about being a fool and not hushing it up. Was working till 10 pm. Got home, checked email, and have a note from boss saying my current story lacks ‘fundamental information’. I will now have to go to work early to provide said fundamental information that I don’t have because boss didn’t spell out what she wanted from the story clearly in the first week.

This is the storm after the calm.

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