I’m coming up on the big 30 soon and all around me friends are celebrating their milestone birthdays with aplomb. Me, I kind of forgot about it till I was reminded by a cousin. The big milestone for me this year will be the birth of my son and that’s the one I have my eye on.

Also, I don’t have any of the leave-behind-the-20s regret that is supposed to be customary. It feels appropriate that I will be 30. Apart from the huge fact that I’m going to be a mother, my life has slowed down considerably. My career is stable (I hope!), my marriage has settled into an even keel (I think I have passed the Bridget Jones Edge of Reason phase where one is still a little unsure of one’s partner, something is took me five years of marriage and seven years of knowing V to do) and a night on the town is a very rare and barely missed happening. I am comfortable in my own skin. I care about what people think about me (genuinely) less. I know who my friends are and I don’t want/need too many more. I am less tolerant of people who piss me off and yet, more willing to hold my tongue too. I definitely look older.

I know I have grown/matured/aged but what I didn’t realize was is how different my writing is. Recently, Curly sent me on a quest to my very first blog and I was stunned at how different my voice was five years ago. I sounded so sassy and…young! I was so full of piss-and-vinegar. My rants had an edge that was so chick-lit. I am so much more serious and muted now. The old me flashes through only occasionally in my writing.

So in honour of who I was five years ago, and because I really enjoyed reading those old posts, I’m going to repost some of them here in run-up to my birthday. Hope they make you smile as much as they made me!

Ok so here goes:

April 18 Edge of Reason
I used to think my life resembled Bridget Jones’s Diary…Dead-end career, 2001 cigarettes, battle with the bulge and commitment phobic emotional fuckwit at hand. Then Mr Darcy, or should I say Mr VC (is that corny?…But it rhyyyymes!) swept me off my feet and…
Now I’m at the edge of reason. I’m in that safe secure place, where one constantly tiptoes around the other person in a bid to be perfect, smokes furtively in the bathroom and fights off the calories with even more desperation. I wonder if I will get into a snit over a leggy hair-flicking type…Oh no! He’s in Hong Kong. And of course, suddenly the fuckwit appears like the green-eyed monster in the wings.
Curiouser and curiouser.

My thoughts 5 years on:

Wow, clearly the Edge of Reason theme was on my mind then too. Maybe I should write the third part of the Bridget Jones series since Helen Fielding is showing no signs of…