It’s a strange thing when you know who your friends are when their reaction to your ‘good news’ is to laugh at you (not with, at) for five minutes. A sampling:

Curly: hahahahahaha
And then: oh god, this is funny. dont know why
Im just finding it hysterical
[she then called to laugh and say this again in person]

MinCat: oh sweet jesus!!!!!
at least you have the helper
hahaha
catholic twins!!!!!
sorry
i know its mean
but
its hilarious
but yay

[and so forth]

Friend from Australia: hahahaha!
Friend from New Zealand (both of them were together when they called me to generally poke fun): “it wouldn’t be so funny but it’s you!”
Me: Glad to entertain you girls.

Friend from HK: You’re joking.
Me: No really.
Friend from HK: (stares openmouthed)
Me: You’re allowed to laugh.
[friend proceeds to laugh for five minutes]

Mother: Oh.
Me: Mother, hang up, digest the news and I’ll call you back.
[call back after 10 minutes during which I assume Mother ran around the house screaming]
Mother: So… you’ll didn’t take any precautions?
Me: Er no?
Father in background: Say congratulations.
Mother: So… you’ll didn’t use anything?
[I decide to hang up before mother gives me sex education lecture. That would be too much to bear. Apart from being around 13 years too late]

Contrast this with V’s parents: Oh my god! Such good news (etc.) [all said to V. I have not heard from them since ‘good news’ was reported. Not that I truly care.]

[Edited to add] I forgot this one my friend from Singapore:

After she had finished laughing etc. I decide to change the topic: So how are you?

Friend: Fine, fine. But I think my body had a violent reaction to your news. I just got my period!


Advertisements