I have been in a bit of a funk lately, my mojo down, my nerve endings frayed. Over the weekend, we went to Macau for a summer mini-break, having discussed and discarded fancier options such as India and Bali since we just couldn’t be bothered to cart the kids, two helpers and ourselves to any place that required a flight.
It was only when we got to Macau and I felt myself feeling distinctly lighter, that I realised how much I had needed a holiday and two things in particular:
1. I’ve been stressed at work. The one thing that has been consistently great about my current job has been its low-stress nature. However, last year we got a new head boss and though we are very fortunate that she is really nice, she is more demanding when it comes to English writing. Which means I have to unlearn my tendency to let go of much of the awkward phrasing I used to under the previous boss and be more careful. There is also a lot more work coming in from the other teams which means I am in the surprising position of actually having no not much time to surf the net at work. Which is fine, but back-to-back jobs do sap the system, even without net withdrawal. It’s still much less stress than out there in the real world but I have definitely been feeling the pressure and it has taken a toll on other areas of my life.
2. I need to curtail my Internet activity. The other day V absolutely infuriated me by citing some study which said that checking Facebook and Twitter can become addictive. This is not to deny that it can and does but simply, so what? I’m kind of bored by all these social media studies which often don’t take into account that the reality of human interaction has changed. But that said, I have also noticed that my online life can preoccupy me to an extent that I don’t think it should. I also find that I am not learning as much online, in particular from discussions online, than I used to. For the very first time ever, I considered shutting down the blog but that would be too drastic, I think. I still need to this medium of expression, more than anything else for myself, to air out and clear my own head. But I have stopped commenting as much, particularly where it could result in fractious discussions. My rule is to say something if it is neutral enough not to get into a big discussion. Not sure how long I can keep this up; I’m back to commenting on a baby forum I frequent and I wondered why I do it. How often do people, including myself, change their minds on anything as a result of an online discussion anyway? Then again, I feel like sometimes you need to express the contrary opinion – contrariness being ever my creed – just so that it is out there for the fence-sitters to consider.
PS: This does not mean I don’t love comments here. Just that I need to withdraw from the online outside just a bit.