You know how some people can bring diverse groups of friends together under one roof and everyone has a really good time? Yeah, I’m not one of those people.
I hate mixing friends. This became especially pertinent when I moved abroad and would meet people when I went back on holiday. I had a limited amount of time and many people to meet. If I clubbed people together, time would be maximised.
But I don’t like it that way. I feel that I don’t get the level of conversation I would get if I met people one-on-one or in small groups where everyone is comfortable with each other so that they’re not spending half the evening sussing each other out and being polite. Sometimes, with individual people you know they will gel but mostly, there’s always a tad of awkwardness that I’d rather avoid.
Thus, I have work friends, college friends, building friends, and the odd random individual friend and never the twain shall meet. I think birthday parties or the odd house party are okay. I am so not a large party person though, and this is a primary reason; I have a horror of small groups sitting around chatting in an undertone then awkwardly going to the dinner buffet and refilling their plate. People are supposed to be grown-ups and mingle but often, especially if they have a few people they know to buttress them, they don’t (and I am guilty of this myself) and then I feel a failure as a host. Yeah, perfection or none at all, even in social gatherings.
I recently realised I compartmentalise my online life as well. Not so much in terms of people but in terms of content. So I don’t like to repeat content across platforms. I have things that I think should be on Facebook and I post them there. Other things on blog. Others on Pinterest; I am the opposite of those who spam Facebook with Pinterest feeds. I feel if people were interested in that kind of content, they would sign up for that platform. Obviously, there’s a bit of overlap in the function that all the platforms serve but I personally try to avoid that. I also have only a few that I know of who follow me across all the platforms and that’s the way I like it.
But it is probably a slightly strange way to be.
What about you? Are you an integrater or a divider?