Note: To those who have already read this, if it pops up in your reader again, I’ve just made minor edits, you can ignore.
Finally, you fell in love with yourself. You realised you are as awesome as some people have been telling you all along, that your one big talent is big enough, and your one small talent is pretty darn cool. That being able to write is not a small thing and being able to cut to the heart of people’s (and your own) anxieties is big.
You embraced your girth and your physical imperfections. Your scars you have always loved, but now you wear your tummy with aplomb because you always thought those laughing Buddhas were cool. No matter that your breasts have shrunk a size, you admire them in the mirror while you’re taking a shit. You adopt ugly-pretty because you always loved cacti. As a gesture, you hack your hair off. Then you adorn your neck with ropes of pearls. You toy with crowning your angular nose with a thorn tipped with a diamond.
You put that nose to the grindstone, and you bloody it in service of a dream. You give it your all though the fear makes you want to vomit.
You let yourself plunge into the virtual and the fantastic, gorging on books and thought pieces and rambling conversations over the internet, and you decide that this is the reality you will live in unapologetically because you have the privilege of a choice.
Your lost your religion. You found magic in mythology.
You changed genders, adopting the traits of the other, the self-entitlement, the guileless selfishness, the swagger, the me me me. You abandoned guilt. You adopted the shrug. Yes, I am. So?
The sliver of space left over from motherhood you claimed for yourself. You dipped your toe into the moonshine of self-love and you fell headlong. You didn’t sink, you floated. Occasionally, you glanced towards land, and waved hello. Sometimes, like a mermaid, you slithered onto the rock and sunned yourself.
You have (almost) become the Muse. You are the albatross, wings outstretched poised for flight. Oh the glory! The time for soaring is nigh.