I just finished a 10 day course of antibiotics which had followed a break before which I had been on a five-day course of antibiotics. The best part is that I don’t think antibiotics really solved either issues, though they may have ameliorated them as a side effect which I don’t think was the intention. I know the docs are playing by the textbook, but it’s so boring how doctors almost never listen to one.

I waver between completely overhauling my diet and eating bland, entirely dairy and sugar-free sludge and fuck-it-tis-not-so-bad because it isn’t. My problems are niggles-ish but they’re there. All the while I think of this virtuous friend who went vegetarian and does yoga and meditation and claims to never fall sick. Hmmm though even when I ate super healthy with nary a chocolate in between thanks to my mum and did athletics every day, I fell sick every 15 days. Oh dear.

Anyway, the point was that while I absolutely loathe antibiotics and the way they make me feel, which is dazed, confused and perennially on the point of throwing up, they became such a part of my routine that today when I didn’t have to take any (partly because I refuse to go back to the doctor in case more are prescribed) , I kind of missed them. Also, I have this theory that I didn’t fall sick through the kids’ sicknesses because I was already taking antibiotics (unintentionally) preventively as it were. And all along I’d been convincing myself that a large part of my personality which seemed to lack focus and crave sleep and food was because of the antibiotics but unfortunately I seem to be the same today. So has the antibioticity just become my personality now?