Reflections on 100 Happy Days – 2

Yesterday, I posted some general thoughts on the 100 Happy Days challenge. One of the most interesting things about the challenge is looking back on all the posts and seeing patterns in what made me happy during that period. I created a chart online (which in itself could go down as my happy moment of the day had I still been doing the challenge). Here it is (but boo, the resolution is not high enough for you to read the categories and I can’t be arsed to figure out how to fix that. Ive listed them at the end for those who care):

 

Anyhoo. Here’s my analysis:

1. As you can see, the kids really dominated my happy and if you add in the excursions, which always involved them, it’s even more. Kids help me combine two things I enjoy – being with them and getting out into the great outdoors.

2. Food was the next big winner, which kind of goes to show how a good meal can help one’s mood (much as we are told to avoid this dependence).

3. Interestingly, friends and fashion came in for a tied third. If you add in the part about Benji’s school (which I know is a funny category but there was a whole bit of happy related to resolving that one) to the friends category, as some of that is due to conversations with friends and family about the school and being grateful for their support, the friends category could get higher. But it’s interesting to note that fashion (shopping, what I chose to wear and being happy with my appearance, looking at magazines) figures quite high.

4. I’m surprised books didn’t figure more, but I think I made a conscious decision to not have the challenge dominated by Just Read posts, and I managed to suppress this more successfully than the kids posts. On the other hand, I wasn’t watching out for food enough (and maybe I’m influenced by the idea that people like looking at pictures of food), so that sneaked in there more heavily.

5. I’m surprised that exercise figures at all, clearly it’s an upcoming category. Also, the appearance of work leaves me with a bittersweet feeling.

Apart from kids, the champions of this challenge, the absolute high points, which I didn’t include in the chart, were winning the PhD fellowship and the week I spent in Bombay catching up with friends and family.

Categories:

Kids
Technology
Excursions
Exercise
Benji’s school
Art
Marriage
Music/Movies
Friends
Fashion
Books
Food
Work
Health
Misc

Update: Since many people have commented on my doing a pie-chart analysis, I must mention that I got the idea from this blogger. I remember thinking a chart was an interesting way to process the challenge, but didn’t actually think I would one…until I did.

 

 

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Reflections on 100 Happy Days – 1

I decided to do the 100 Happy Days Challenge for a lark and because I want to take more photos with my phone for the blog and Instagram and I find I need a structure for that. Also, I’ve been accused of having a negative view of life, and I figured this might be a way of striking a balance, highlighting the bright spots, especially at a time of great emotional turbulence.

I found that the mere mention of the challenge made several people want to sneer. I never advertised that I was doing the challenge except on the blog and Instragram where I’m mostly followed by people who don’t know me in real life and therefore I’d presume could easily look away from any annoying exhibitions of joy I might post. However, I was observed by friends and family taking photos of stuff at odd moments and when asked about it, instead of lying, I mentioned the challenge which was a cue for such questions as: “Do you really think it’s going to make you happier?” (That wasn’t my aim, see above),“Are they really happy moments every day?” (Yes! I knew this even before I started the challenge. Maybe you need to do it) and “It’s so annoying all these people pretending to be happy” (Pretending? How do you know? Why does it annoy you?) Even on this blog, there were those who felt obliged to make the odd dismissive comment.

Naysayers notwithstanding, I plodded along. And here’s what I think on the other side:

1. Did it make me happier? The challenge website suggests that people who completed the challenge found it had a positive impact on overall happiness. I think the idea is related to positive psychology. While I’m happier having completed the challenge, I can’t definitively say this is because of the challenge. It just so happened that in the last week of the challenge something big shifted in my marriage. With this big stressor removed, I feel lighter and happier. But I can’t say that the challenge didn’t help me cope during a difficult time either. Focusing on and treasuring happy moments in the day should have some, if only momentary, positive effect.
2. I was surprised that people seem surprised that one could find a happy moment every day. Someone even asked me: “Do you plan (i.e. set up) the moment?” No, I don’t, because I don’t need to. Something happy, however small, does happen almost, if not every, day. I already knew this because I was already in the habit of treasuring the small stuff. In that sense, the impact of the challenge might be more greatly felt by those that don’t do this regularly. For me, it’s normal to savour certain moments in the day, the difference with the challenge was that I stretched it out longer because I photographed it and also thought about which moment to feature.
3. My methodology was to intermittently think about which moments I could feature. If something pleasant happened, I’d mentally file it away as a contender. In that sense, it was a little like a mini daily happiness Olympics where at the end of the day, I’d decide which was the most meaningful moment to share. It became a way of reflecting upon not just one, but many good times.
4. It was interesting to see how something that at the beginning of the day I was quite sure was going to yield the happiest moment, might not necessarily do so. For example, one day I was quite sure that a dinner with friends was going to be my happy moment for the day, but when I was taking a photo of the food to represent it, they had so many annoying comments that I ended up posting something else. Another time, I was sure a birthday party my kids attended would be the happy moment, but it turned out to be something else quite small.
5. I recorded a moment for each day diligently, though sometimes I’d forget to do a photo, and then go back and take something to represent the day. Only in the week that I was in Bombay did I skip this daily record because every single day was so filled with joy and it was too hectic to record individual moments. There were only a couple of days when I cheated and used a happy moment from one day to cover the next day, either because there were two standout moments in the day or because a particular day was flat with no moment to highlight (this happened literally twice).
6. Contrary to what I’d been hearing, I didn’t see a lot of people doing the challenge with me. In the blog world, just one. And on Instagram, a handful. None of these posted show-offy or clichéd photos and they’re from different parts of the world so it’s quite sweet to see slivers of their lives.
7. The challenge did get me into Instagram, which I’ve wanted to get into but never knew how. As a side effect, I’m now following a lot of models and getting my fashion fix. I’ve also always had something to post on the blog, even if readers might not have loved these kinds of posts. It brought back a bit of the diary element to the blog.
8. There were moments in between when my enthusiasm did flag and I began to think 100 days was very long. But I’m one of those disciplined people that rarely gives up on a project embarked upon, especially if I chose it. And now that I’m done, I’m feeling a void. In fact, I might pick up another feel-good project – either the What Went Well exercise suggested in the Brain Pickings article or this .

It’s interesting to look back on the posts and see a pattern in the things that make me happy. I did a chart and will post my analysis tomorrow. (Yeah, you’re not done with hearing my drone on about this).

Happily ever after

There’s good news for those of you who are sick of all the happy on this blog. I’m done. 100 days of recording a happy moment every day. Here’s the final installment:

Day 96: May 22

Benji’s school was having a fancy dress party where each child had to dress up as a different profession. Last time, we had him go as a doctor. This time, I was considering just buying a costume, as anyway I realised my kids use the costumes quite a bit to play at home. Then, V suggested doing a home-made chef’s costume as Benji likes cooking. I found exactly the right paper to make the hat and all we had to do was staple it together. I bought a cheap kids apron, and we hand him a ladle and a wooden spoon and voila! He looked super cute if I may say so myself and was pleased with his outfit. Then, Mimi started making noises so V used the leftover paper to make a crown for her.Coincidentally, we were watching Master Chef when I clicked the photo.

Day 97: May 23

You know those awesome quote things that come up on Pinterest? I always wanted to make one of my own. Finally, a bit of googling and trial and error and I had figured it out. Pretty pinnable quotes for the win! I also finally downloaded a barcode scanner app and it was quite magical how you’re taken to the website once your phone scans the code. It was a good day for fiddling with technology.

Day 98: May 24

It was our helper’s birthday, so we all went to Ocean Park. Since the focus was on her, we tried to do the adult rides which we normally bypass in favour of the kiddie stuff. V urged E, our helper, to try this crazy-looking ride. Poor thing – she’s suspended up there upside down. I copped out of the line halfway, but did another really fast ride with her. It all proved too much and she threw up in the cab. But I hope we enjoyed herself, though I doubt she’s doing any of those rides again.

Day 99: May 25

It’s been really hot these days so I figured it was time to use the swimming pool in our estate. We don’t use it as much as we should be the kids seem to have perennial colds which I don’t want to exacerbate. However, this time we decided to just do it although Mimi had a slightly runny nose because she had been asking to go swim in my bathtub and I didn’t want to make a habit of that. I rushed down to buy swim diapers but there weren’t any so we decided to just go without because the kids are pretty good at controlling these days. We didn’t have floats either, but ended up having a lovely time and far exceeded the half hour I thought we’d spend. V and I have vowed to do more swimming ourselves as an exercise. (I took the photo in the evening; it was bright and sunny when we were there).

Day 100: May 26

Finally, it appears that the skies are clearing with regard to Benji’s school. On Saturday, I had had a meeting with Benji’s teacher which confused me because I could see they did take a lot of trouble. On Sunday, I dragged myself to the new school for an Open Day and I’m glad I did because I got a lot more information on what they do there, the background of the principal and even met the teachers. There’s no guarantee that Benji will love the new school but he has a greater chance in this environment.

 

 

Happy breakthroughs

Day 90: 16 May

Art Basel Hong Kong has become one of the must-do events of my year. Thankfully, most often someone or the other gives me tickets. This time, went with a friend, and unfortunately we ran into another couple there, which meant that we were four people trying to look at art and make conversation. I must avoid going to exhibitions with other people in the future. The need to keep pace with other people and say something about the art is too annoying. Especially when people feel the need to repeatedly mention how their two-year-old could have drawn that. Thankfully, I managed to shrug off the two extras, at the risk of coming across as rude. This time, I had totally abandoned my dream of owning art of this calibre and simply looked and discovered new artists and marveled at some masters, such as the Picasso above in a style that’s a little different from his usual work. Friend pointed out the work of Zao Wu-ki and I discovered the work of Gao Xingjian.

Day 91: 17 May

I had applied for a US visa and got one fairly easily. The most irritating part was filling up the form, which is long, full of stupid questions (“are you a terrorist?”) and had some technical problems. Gathering the documents was relatively simple. In the end, all they asked for was the company letter. My appointment was at 9.30, I arrived there 10 minutes early, went through some preliminary checking and was out in 15 minutes. One of the glitches of the online system was that it didn’t allow me enough characters to fill in my home address which meant I had to collect it myself. I had been a tad anxious that something would be wrong because I belatedly realised they hadn’t taken the hard copy of my photograph, but it turned out to be fine. On the way back from collecting my visa, I got some yummy choux from a local bakery. V who is a fan of these polished off three in short order and for once was reluctant to share with the kids.

Day 92: 18 May

This was a really huge breakthrough day in my tumultuous relationship with V. We sat on the rocks on the promenade near our apartment and had a mammoth conversation. Finally the walls came down, and we are on the path to some sort of reconciliation.

Day 93: May 19

The kids usually have a bath in a small tub placed in our big bathtub. For the first time ever, I filled the big tub and let them go “swimming”. They enjoyed themselves immensely, so much so that Mimi has started demanding “to swim in mummy’s bathtub” every day and throwing tantrums when thwarted. The only thing that caused her to shut up was my repeatedly saying how we can’t waste water because some people don’t have enough to drink. Not sure she grasped the concept, and she didn’t look fully convinced, but it did succeed in getting her to pipe down and only emit small whines instead of yelling her head off.

Day 94: May 20

Life is very peaceful when one is not fighting with one’s husband. In fact, it was easier to identify happy moments when there was a lot of surrounding stress.

Day 95: May 21

Case in point. It was generally a good day. The cherry-on-the-top was the kicks I got out of discovering Mimi and I were wearing matchy-matchy outfits.

 

On to happier things

Day 83: 9 May

My skepticism about Mother’s Day notwithstanding, I experienced that warm fuzzy feeling when Benji burst into the house waving a carnation wrapped in plastic and shouting “Happy Mother’s Day”. He then proceeded to give me the card he made for me at school and to explain it at length. It contained a heart with “I love U” written inside as well as a drawing in pencil of a mother that was so picassoesque that I had to search for my nose outside my face. Nevertheless, his earnest explanations were too cute, and Mimi was quite left out and I had to console her.

Day 84: 10 May

Finally, I decided to invest in a good but expensive counsellor. The first session was productive and hinted at good things to come.

Day 85: 11 May

Not sure why Frozen was discussed at a banking conference, but V returned convinced that the kids should watch it. I’ve been hearing a lot of people raving about it so was keen to watch it myself, though when it comes to animated movies I’m never very motivated despite the fact that I always end up enjoying them. Both V and I felt the film, while entertaining, was not worthy of all the hype. V questioned why Elsa had to be imprisoned for, as he put it, “her superpower”. The film seemed to be an allegory for the control of women for centuries for fear of their sexual and emotional power. While the message at the end of the film – that this power can be tempered with love and harnessed as a productive force – I’m not sure I entirely buy it. However, I did like the strong relationship between the sisters, I identified with the pain of being shut out by a sister, and I loved how at the end, it’s the two sisters holding hands and not a prince and princess getting hitched. The character I enjoyed most in this film was Olaf. I wondered how they’d resolve the combination of summer and a snowman, and that they did was what made this a fairytale for me.

Day 86: 12 May

With a weekend of thunderstorms, we’d been marveling from our balcony at the water gushing down the mountain next door, so V decided to take the kids to see it up close. We then climbed the mountain a bit and tracked the water upstream and V even held the kids  into the flowing water so that their feet were dipping in, while our helpers looked on horrified and shrieked: “Mosquitoes mosquitoes!” They were right and the next day the kids had huge welts. Benji very seriously told V: “Daddy next time don’t take me to the mountain and put me in the water because the mosquitoes will bite me and I’ll get a big boo boo.” I thought we’d be safe till we are about 50 from being lectured by our kids, but apparently this starts early.

Day 87: 13 May

A new colleague joined work to replace my old favourite colleague. The new girl seems nice too.

Day 88: 14 May

Thanks to a coupon from Zalora, I got a new pair of shoes. I’ve been needing a pair of white strappy shoes, and although I initially didn’t love the look of what came out of the box, they’re doing very nicely. They’re wedges which really helps. I feel like all my shoes should be wedges now.

Day 89: 15 May

Got this at the recommendation of a friend, and think it’s going to be good. I’m really enjoying reading histories of strong women in the past. I think this book will be a good entry point into Chinese history, which I need to know more of, as well.

Happy happy happy joy joy joy

Day 76: 2 May

Still confused about Benji’s school, I was glad to catch my sister on chat and get her views. Based on what I told her, she and my brother-in-law voted for the new school. Though I’m still undecided with Benji seeming okay with the old school, I’m still leaning towards the new school. This whole thing has taught me that I really do struggle with big decision-making. I feel like I’m waiting for some definitive sign to show me the way.

Day 77: 3 May

V and I had dinner out together after ages. Some great new restaurants have opened up in our district, and I think this one – Modern China – will be a favourite. I ordered my favourite mandarin fish in Sichuan chilli dish and since it was way too big for two people, we got takeaway boxes and I ended up eating that sauce through the week, frying up prawns to go with it mid-week.

Day 78: May 4

Woke up from my afternoon nap, my stomach rumbling, to the aroma of freshly baked cookies. Having tried the Betty Crocker box version with success, V made these from scratch and they were quite yummy.

Day 79: May 5

V and I had a rude argument that morning, and I felt terrible because he was leaving on a business trip. Somehow we made up, and it made me realise that these days I feel like Mr Darcy as expressed above. We ended up exchanging mushy smses which is more than we’ve done in months.

Day 80: May 6

Visited friends who have just had a baby and enjoyed talking to the visiting grandma about Bandra, where we both grew up. I realised I find it easier to accept and laugh off prejudiced views in the older generation.

Day 81: May 7

Sometimes all it takes is coming across the right book for your mood in the library. I have to say I didn’t love this one in the end. I’m fairly tolerant of Sophie Kinsella’s heroines’s propensity to fuck up, seeing them as an extreme version of myself, but the two in this book really made me want to shake them. Nevertheless, as always there are some awesome fantasy men in there.

Day 82: 8 May

Whatever may be said of technology, whatsapp has helped connect several groups that would otherwise have been out of touch for ages. In my case, it’s the cousins group formed after the reunion at my gran’s birthday and the college friends group that was formed after the trip to Sri Lanka and then controversially expanded to include some stragglers. Regardless of the politics and the inevitable off jokes or greetings, some of the exchanges on these groups are very amusing. And during one of them I discovered the majority of my college friends hate bananas! How did I hang out with these girls for that long and not notice this? Okay because we were too busy discussing our crushes and how to “get proxy” in class while eating spicy roadside sandwiches and “Mysore malasa dosa” but still.

 

Catching up on happy

Day 66: April 22

Probably only parents will get this, but my happiest moment on this day was that Mimi did a poo without struggling. She had not crapped for two days and I was beginning to think it we’d have to give her something for it and/or be faced with really hard poo, but it was fine. Yay!

Day 67: April 23

I had bought a stash of new beauty products and began using them. Chia Seed Oil-Free Moisturizer from The Face Shop, some pomergranite and rose toner from Natio, Shiseido Make-Up Removing Gel and Cane Sugar lotion from an unheard-off brand. This is the first time I’m using toner in my life. Long overdue I think. Buying a Shu Uemera make-up remover for Curly seems to have propelled me in the Japanese direction, and I have to say my skin felt awesome after and I might go in this direction for cleanser as well.

Day 68: April 24

Finally V asked if we should do some exercise twice a week and I felt up to it, especially as the weather is great and we can walk/run/stretch outdoors. As it would happen, it was slightly rainy but we persevered and I’m glad.

 

Day 69: April 25

One of the first books Benji really got into was Sunu Sunu Snail, and since then we’ve both been a little obsessed with snails. Just the sight of them makes me happy. When it rains, there are always a bunch of them slithering around the roof garden outside the office and I tread carefully so as not to step on them.

 

Day 70: April 26

Went for a classical concert after ages. I’m always impressed by the horn section because if you’ve ever played with those mouthorgans that seemed ubiquitous in our childhood, you’d know it takes a great deal of skill to actually coax a melody out of the instrument and not have it sound like a blaring menace.

Day 71: April 27

Watched and loved Queen.

Day 72: April 28

A story I needed to get done was stalled because I couldn’t seem to get anyone to agree to be interviewed, which always sucks. Rejection stings. But finally I did manage to get hold of two willing souls, bless them!

Day 73: April 29

Benji had an interview at a new school we are considering and he surprised us by how well he did. He was offered a place (and then the agonizing started over whether to accept but that’s another story). Also, just as I was going to bed, my cousin whatsapped me to let me know she had got a job teaching at the college we both went to. It brought back memories of those classes and how they influenced me, and the thought of my cousin be that person to a new generation of students tickled me pink.

Day 74: April 30

The agonizing over what to do about Benji’s school was getting to me, and I reached out to another mum. Although nothing was resolved after I chatted with her, I came away feeling better and grateful for the support of other women.

Day 75: May 1

This photo of the kids gazing at Bollywood dance moves was not my happiest moment, particularly as they are too close to the TV. I had a lovely time with them in the morning first at an arcade store and later in the rooftop park in the mall where they blithely splashed in puddles and interacted with the other kids there. I love seeing them confident and also being a team in a playground.

Queen

 

I was predisposed to like this movie, and I did.

I watched the first part – the part where she gets dumped – and then took a break because I had to go out. That part stayed with me. I’ve always been of the school of thought that it’s better to back out of a marriage before the wedding itself, if you’re having serious doubts, even at the last minute. But after watching that section of Queen, I began to wonder whether it might practically be better for all concerned to just go ahead with the ceremony, give it a shot and break up later.

I know this sounds crazy, but it just seemed really terrible, hurtful and embarrassing to have to call it off right at the last minute. The number of people you’d have to explain to and the curiosity and sympathy would be endless and all at one go. On the other, if you broke up later, it somehow seems less dramatic, and sure, you’d have to explain but not all at once, and the news of the breakup could spread through the gossip vines and you’d not have to do it personally. Also, if you cancelled at the last minute, I’d assume you’d have to pay the full cost of everything.

I have a friend who had serious doubts about his wedding right before it. He even tried whatever he could to break off the engagement; in retrospect it sounded quite hilarious though obviously he was in a lot of angst at the time. But in the end, short of saying I just don’t want to do this, which he couldn’t find it in himself to do, he couldn’t wiggle out, having agreed earlier on, and so he went ahead. It broke up within a year, and did turn kind of ugly. He admitted there was a lot of unhappiness on both sides, and the woman he married did suffer, though she’s now moved on and seems more okay than him in fact. But would it have been better or worse if he had just ditched it at the altar, so to speak? After watching the first part of Queen, I don’t know, though movie’s answer in the end is “yes”.

The rest of the movie is very uplifting. Some of it is unrealistic, like Rani seemed to have a lot of money to be able to take cabs around Paris. Also, I did think the two women in Europe – Vijaylaxmi and the girl called Roxette were too sexualized, but maybe the intention was to portray the opposite of Rani herself. The three roomies, particularly the Japanese guy were slightly caricatured, but it’s a Hindi movie after all. I also thought that maybe everything need not have been blamed on the horrible fiancé – such as her lack of confidence in driving being related to him putting her down – though I have to say it was very emotionally satisfying to think of him as a thorough asshole.

I did wish she got together with the Russian guy. Did she? When I was looking for images for this post, there’s one with him and her kissing. I didn’t see that happen. Well, technically, it is good that it didn’t end with her finding a man, though he was so hot, it does seem kind of a waste.

Your thoughts?

Long weekend happy

Day 58: 14 April

I was born in the 80s and grew up on 80s music classics such as the music of Madonna, Dire Straits, George Michael and the like with a bit of 70s thrown in and later 90s music. I never quite grew out of this music and till today, it’s the genre that I love dancing to and which never fails to perk me up. So imagine my joy when I discovered the 80s channels on iTunes Radio. The downside is that I’ve slid so far back into the 80s, I don’t think I’m ever going to catch up with contemporary tunes.

Day 59: 15 April

I had discovered this restaurant in the mall near my office a while ago, but hadn’t been back for a long time. It was a pleasure to revisit on a whim and find the food as delish as ever.

Day 60: 16 April

I discovered Janet Evanovich’s books later and never looked back once I did. My current problem is figuring out where I left off after a long hiatus. So it made me doubly  happy to not only get my hands on a copy but also to have hit on exactly the one I needed in the series.

Day 61: 17 April

Finally, I broke the news to my office that I’ll be leaving. It was a bittersweet and slightly scary moment (because out of the generosity of my heart, I’m giving much longer notice than I need to, and I hoped they would not replace me before I wanted to go), but I was overwhelmed by the warm reactions from my colleagues on the news that I had got the fellowship.

Day 62: 18 April

The Easter weekend is a long one in Hong Kong. Before we had kids, we’d travel during this period, but we’ve discovered the joys of staying put and making short excursions around our city. We bought an annual pass to Ocean Park, the local theme park, and went twice during the weekend – once on Friday and again on Sunday. Needless to say, the kids loved it. The park is supposed to be very crowded on weekends, but our strategizing worked and we didn’t have to queue up much.

I had two happies that day, because V unearthed the sausages from Goa I had brought back from India. A neighbor I had taken some Chinese candy for was off to Goa the weekend I was in Mumbai and she brought sausages back for me. I very nearly didn’t bring them back to Hong Kong because I was concerned about the weight of my luggage, but I’m so glad I did because it’s a simple dish to prepare and I loved it so much I had it with a bun for breakfast, with rice for lunch and dinner, and with bread for breakfast the next morning.

Day 63: 19 April

Took Benji for an interest class in my office neck of the woods. It’s always nice to spend one-on-one time with each child as they really bloom under the attention (which translates into talking non-stop). Benji is pointing to the Lion Rock in the distance.

Day 64: 20 April

We went back to Ocean Park and this time paid a visit to the pandas. I’m a total fan of pandas, and was more excited than the kids watching Mei Mei or was it Ling Ling chewing on bamboo.

Day 65: 21 April

Tim Ho Wan, a Michelin star dim sum restaurant, opened in Tseung Kwan O. The whole family went for breakfast and the food lived up to its name because the kids belted it – on their own! – like dumplings were going out of style. My favourites were the spinach and beef dumplings pictured here as well as the pan-friend spinach and shrimp ones.

Happy week

Day 53: 7 April

After ages, my health let up and I started walking from the MTR to office again. Having not done this for so long, my body is welcoming the physical activity.

Day 54: 8 April

Easter is almost upon us. V’s aunt sent some Easter-themed goodies for the kids, which I must admit I’m kind of monopolising. What? Candy is bad for kids. Adults too, but my health is a lost cause anyway. The point, though, is why do these egg-shaped chocolates make me happier than the usual square-shaped pieces?

Day 55: 9 April

Had a lovely lunch with Office colleagues during which I spent most of the time sharing kids’ schooling woes with one of colleagues. In between, someone suggested I try pigs’ ear and I did and it was… interesting and I don’t mean that in a bad way. It tasted like cartiledge but firmer. Fine, as long as you don’t picture the ear.

Day 56: 10 April

Had lunch with my favourite colleague who quit last month. I didn’t expect us to keep that much in touch, because I’ve noticed that often these office friendships fizzle especially if they’re cross-cultural, but so far we’ve been meeting for lunch once a week. Helps that she’s not working yet. Her family recently adopted a cat, and we oohed and it’s cute to see her in the indulgent parent role.

Day 57: 11 April

The kids love rummaging in my photo drawer, somewhat ruining the photos but I’m too lazy to stop them. This time they each collected a stash of their own baby photos and very proudly showed them to the other people at home. It got a tad competitive when they kept demanding more photos of themselves so as to up their pile.

Day 58: 12 April

Met a friend for dinner and had one of those much-needed no-holds-barred conversations about the state of our respective marriages. Much alcohol and bawdiness was involved.

Day 59: 13 April

Spent a lot of quality time with the kids, despite being quite hung over. In the morning took Benji to a cooking class I had booked. Before the class, we shared a chocolate milkshake at a cafe. Benji shares my love of eating out in nice-looking restaurants. It was so cute to see him light up, and to spend time with him just us. The cooking class was fun too but he takes a long time to warm up to new adults. The pancake we made was lovely and was something even I think I could replicate at home. In the evening, went to the park with them and then later, we just hung out on the bed, while Benji built enormous towers of Lego and Mimi clicked photos of him with my phone, including this one.