• About
  • Rules
  • The Bride’s Guide to things to do in Hong Kong

for whom the bell tolls

for whom the bell tolls

Category Archives: #eatingmywords

On mommy dating

02 Wednesday Sep 2015

Posted by The Bride in #eatingmywords, The P Diaries

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

parenting

When I read this post, I kind of rolled my eyes and thanked my stars that I did not need to mommy date because I had enough friends. Granted, none of them were parents, but in my view that was a good thing. Frankly, the very concept of a playdate seemed precious (not in a good way) to me. Whatever happened to plain old playing? When did it become a set-up that had to be orchestrated between parents.

Well, now here we are.

Admittedly, I kind of got steamrolled into the playdate thing. But I have to admit, it works … for the kids. It cements friendships which makes your child’s adjustment to school, for example, easier. In summer, where days are long and kids (in Hong Kong) usually have a number of things going on, it gives your kids something to do. The fact is that my kids have friends they run into without too much planning – though sometimes the helpers coordinate among themselves – and they play together. They form adhoc alliances in the playground too. So if I didn’t do the playdate schtick my kids would be fine.

Nevertheless, Nene has a once-a-week playdate the location of which rotates between the houses of the three kids involved. My feelings about the mommies involved are mixed. We are not a natural fit: I am probably at least five years younger than them, and have never been a SAHM. Both are much wealthier than me and have huge houses and cars. They are nice enough to accommodate me, and I appreciate them including Mimi and dropping my kids to railways stations from their home. We exchange useful information and proffer help and that occasionally feel warm and fuzzy towards them. Sometimes we have conversations that reveal a little more than the surface, but we are not besties.

I have had the mommies over for lunch once, and I find myself doing anything to avoid a repeat. Though they didn’t say anything, fitting everyone in my house is a tight squeeze and because they do proper sit-down meals when we go over to their places, I feel obliged to do the same, but a) I am not a cook and my cook’s cooking skills are limited b) I do not have the space or paraphernalia to ‘host’ people. I realised how edgy they make me feel when we had V’s cousins over and I barely thought about what and how were going to serve them until the morning they arrived. If it had been the mommies I would have been stressing for days.

And then there was Mimi’s friend D. I really wanted them to be friends because I know much easier school was for Nene when he had his little gang. And D adored Mimi. However, apparently the feeling was not mutual. We tried over the summer and the last date was awkward. What made it suck even more was that I really liked D’s mum. We could have been friends if only our my baby would cooperate. D’s mum is friends with another mum whose kid is in their class and who I like but who always kind of gives me the cold shoulder. Oh God, it’s high school all over again. Anyhoo it was not to be, and I guess I just have to accept that.

Now another mum in Nene’s class seems to want a playdate with him, which works because they live just across our street, except that I don’t know if I should be including the other kids too. Ouff the politics of it.

The mums in Mimi’s class have a whatsapp group to share information and they seem like a warm and supportive bunch. Everyone gets invited to birthday parties, for example, at least what I know of.

When I went back and found the post that started all this, I realised how a lot of that list now applies to my life. Without knowing or wanting it, I am embroiled in the mommy dating scene. And with that I need to institute a new tag #eatingmywords.

Recent Posts

  • Best 10 books of 2020
  • Raising atheists
  • December reading list
  • Storming of the US Capitol vs Hong Kong Legislative Council
  • This year you completed a decade

Archives

  • January 2021
  • December 2020
  • November 2020
  • October 2020
  • September 2020
  • August 2020
  • July 2020
  • June 2020
  • May 2020
  • April 2020
  • March 2020
  • February 2020
  • January 2020
  • December 2019
  • November 2019
  • October 2019
  • September 2019
  • August 2019
  • July 2019
  • June 2019
  • May 2019
  • April 2019
  • March 2019
  • February 2019
  • January 2019
  • December 2018
  • November 2018
  • October 2018
  • September 2018
  • August 2018
  • July 2018
  • June 2018
  • May 2018
  • April 2018
  • March 2018
  • February 2018
  • January 2018
  • December 2017
  • November 2017
  • October 2017
  • September 2017
  • August 2017
  • July 2017
  • June 2017
  • May 2017
  • April 2017
  • March 2017
  • February 2017
  • January 2017
  • December 2016
  • November 2016
  • October 2016
  • September 2016
  • August 2016
  • July 2016
  • June 2016
  • May 2016
  • April 2016
  • March 2016
  • February 2016
  • January 2016
  • December 2015
  • November 2015
  • October 2015
  • September 2015
  • August 2015
  • July 2015
  • June 2015
  • May 2015
  • April 2015
  • March 2015
  • February 2015
  • January 2015
  • December 2014
  • November 2014
  • October 2014
  • September 2014
  • August 2014
  • July 2014
  • June 2014
  • May 2014
  • April 2014
  • March 2014
  • February 2014
  • January 2014
  • December 2013
  • November 2013
  • October 2013
  • September 2013
  • August 2013
  • July 2013
  • June 2013
  • May 2013
  • April 2013
  • March 2013
  • February 2013
  • January 2013
  • December 2012
  • November 2012
  • October 2012
  • September 2012
  • August 2012
  • July 2012
  • June 2012
  • May 2012
  • April 2012
  • March 2012
  • February 2012
  • January 2012
  • December 2011
  • November 2011
  • October 2011
  • September 2011
  • August 2011
  • July 2011
  • June 2011
  • May 2011
  • April 2011
  • March 2011
  • February 2011
  • January 2011
  • December 2010
  • November 2010
  • October 2010
  • September 2010
  • August 2010
  • July 2010
  • June 2010
  • May 2010
  • April 2010
  • March 2010
  • February 2010
  • January 2010
  • December 2009
  • November 2009
  • October 2009
  • September 2009
  • August 2009
  • July 2009
  • June 2009
  • May 2009
  • April 2009
  • March 2009
  • February 2009
  • January 2009
  • December 2008
  • November 2008
  • October 2008
  • September 2008
  • August 2008
  • July 2008
  • June 2008
  • May 2008
  • April 2008
  • March 2008
  • February 2008
  • January 2008
  • December 2007
  • November 2007
  • October 2007
  • September 2007
  • August 2007
  • July 2007
  • June 2007
  • May 2007
  • April 2007
  • March 2007

Categories

  • #eatingmywords
  • #meangirl
  • #Weverb12
  • 100happydays
  • 30 day gratitude photo challenge
  • 65 books for your 20s
  • academia
  • Amazing Insight
  • Back to school
  • Banking wanking
  • Birthdays
  • blogshetra
  • Blogyssey
  • chicklit
  • Coronavirus diary
  • drama shama
  • epiphany
  • Family Shamily
  • femimisms
  • feminisms
  • flaneurie
  • Great escapes
  • gurls
  • Hongy Wonky
  • i am wondering
  • Ishtyle
  • job sob
  • job sob (not)
  • juset
  • just heard
  • just read
  • Just watched
  • le weekend
  • Losing my religion
  • love and long
  • love and longing
  • Media watch
  • mover not shaker
  • Olympic obsession
  • Pet rant
  • quote of the day
  • Red carpet
  • resolutions
  • ruminations
  • shopayoga
  • Sicky
  • The anti-social rounds
  • The Big 30 Flashback
  • The blue bride
  • the ex files
  • The P Diaries
  • The Sex and the City takes
  • the world
  • Uncategorized
  • virtue or vice
  • weight and watch

Meta

  • Register
  • Log in
  • Entries feed
  • Comments feed
  • WordPress.com

Goodreads

Blog at WordPress.com.

Privacy & Cookies: This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this website, you agree to their use.
To find out more, including how to control cookies, see here: Cookie Policy