I’m always surprised at the number of people that land up in HK. We have a steady procession of relatives, friends, frientances, friends of friends, boyfriends of friends…
Anyway, this weekend one of V’s exes landed up in HK. I’ve already written about my attitude to exes before. To summarise, while logically, I think it would be a waste of friendship not to keep in touch with one’s exes, it’s always hard on the other partner. As my friend E’s mom said: “Noone wants to be reminded that they were not the first love of the love of their lives” … or something along those lines.
My anti-ex sentiment stems from more petty complaints. V was not exactly supportive of my friendship with my first ex A so I warned him I wouldn’t be either. He brushed that off because both his (serious) exes were in Sydney (kind of strange how they both ran off there). But last year, when we were Sydney, I kicked up a huge fuss about meeting the ex.
Again, mainly for petty reasons. I’m sure his ex is a nice person and there’s nothing for me to be jealous of (though obviously I was a tad), but I didn’t see why I should bother to meet her since V hadn’t made an effort with mine.
And now, this second ex was in HK and obviously, they wanted to meet up. I rose to the task of milking it for all it was worth. First, I refused outright, telling V to go himself. Then, I demanded a coveted Furla bag (costing HK$4000) for my trouble. Sadly, V was noncommittal but I might still go for the bag. Finally, I made him call up some friends and wiggle out of a party we didn’t want to attend (normally this unpleasant duty inevitably falls to me).
Of course, in between, I kept teasing him about wanting to buy a new T-shirt and shoes. For the past six months, I’ve been trying to get him to wear something other than the two scruffy tees he’s been living in, and he’s been refusing to buy new clothes because he wants to lose weight. And I hate his floaters, but he’s been refusing to buy a new pair. And suddenly he volunteers to. So I had fun with that for a bit.
The reason I could be so blasé about the ex is because I heard she’s put on weight. And then I sneaked into V’s FB page and realised that she indeed had. An ex who’s less goodlooking than one is so much easier to swallow. The last time I saw her she was quite hot and I was acting quite weird.
Anyway, we met for dinner. I was in the loo when they arrived which was convenient because I could check her out in person before. Unfortunately, she wasn’t as plump as I was expecting. Heh.
She got up and kissed me and said it was nice to see me again. I was a bit embarrassed. The last time I had seen them I was drunk and sulking (again part of my petty act) and pretty much said nothing to her except borrowing a cigarette and going out to smoke.
This time though we got on really well. I regretted vetoing post-dinner drinks even. Actually, I liked her husband more than her but they were both nice. She’s very sharp too. I can see why V went for her… A bit like me in fact, down to the sharp nose (hers is nicer though… hmph! I hate my nose!).
I’m curious about what her husband thinks about meeting us. It’s kind of weird to pick a holiday destination where you’re spouse’s ex is. For example, how much are you expected to hang out? V had even asked me if I’d mind them staying with us… and probably I wouldn’t, though in the end he decided against it. I guess he couldn’t risk me sulking and anyway, I wonder… would you like to spend your vacation in the home of your spouse’s ex, even if it’s cheaper?